"YOUR MAMA. THERAPY. AND 2018 FAILED RESOLUTIONS."
Hello everyone and welcome back to the “UNderdogStuff® Writes” article series! It’s February and I’ve got a lot of things on my mind but my New Year’s Resolutions still aren’t one of them. That’s because, as I’ve mentioned before, I’m not going to make new resolutions until I figure out why year after year mine, and yours too, usually fail. According to U.S. News & World Reports 80% of 2018 New Year’s Resolutions have already failed by now. Yup, already. Ain’t that some SHI….!
I know, I know, I know, it is supposed to be the “New Year, New Me” time of year. But you have to remember, a calendar doesn’t magically change me, or you. Even though it would be nice if on January 1st I could just snap my fingers and become a “new me,” that’s not something that can happen. I’ve learned that I have to do things differently if I want to make New Year’s Resolutions that last longer than the first 2 months of the year. This year I’m not going to let this annual calendar change thing mess me up.
“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” -Unknown
In a recent article I talked about how 80% of New Year’s Resolutions fail, but it wouldn't be very kind of me to just leave you hanging with that fun fact of failure. Not gonna do it! Instead, I’m going to share three things to do at the start of the year, before you make new resolutions, to build a solid foundation that will help your resolutions be successful.
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?Sooooooo, why haven’t you seen a doctor in a while? I’ve been that guy before, so, no stones coming from my glass house. However the “New Year, New You” ain’t happening if you’re not healthy.
“We need to do a better job of putting ourselves higher on our own 'to do' list.” -Michelle Obama
The first thing to do before making new resolutions, or fixing the ones that have already failed this year, is go see a doctor (and dentist and eye doctor) for an annual check-up. You wouldn’t put brand new tires on a car if the transmission was failing. The tires would do you absolutely no good. The same goes with our body. I’m not going to be able to make new New Year’s Resolutions that will last if I’m not healthy on the inside. Nothing I try to do is going to work if my health isn’t up to par. Go see a doctor to make sure your engine is running smoothly and you're healthy enough to add new resolutions into your life.
REMIX YOUR TO-DO LISTNow that we got our check-up done it’s time for resolution inventory. I like to call this the three C’s. CUT, COMPLETE, or CONTINUE. I evaluate my previous resolutions and life choices and figure out what I want to CUT out, COMPLETE, or CONTINUE doing. Maybe you smoke but you want to be healthy, you get to CUT smoking. Maybe, like me, you want a serious relationship but you’re still constantly on dating apps swiping left and right. I get to CUT the dating apps.
“I never really make solid resolutions. I think if there's something one needs to change with oneself, it doesn't have to happen in the New Year.” -Brittany Murphy
Then after you figure out what to cut it’s time to figure out what needs to be completed. I haven’t filed my 2016 taxes yet, that is something that I need to COMPLETE before I can add “manage money better” to my new resolutions list.
And then after that it’s onto my favorite “C” which is figuring out what resolutions from the past I want to continue. I’m personally going to CONTINUE this article series and creating content. Maybe you want to continue saving money for the vacation you never took last year or you want to continue toward your weight loss goal from last year. A change in calendar year doesn’t mean you have create new resolutions.
Go through your life and figure out what is getting in your way of becoming the person you want to be. Then cut, complete, and/or continue those things. I ain’t mad at ya if all you do is carryover resolutions from past years that still matter to you and your happiness. There is no rule requiring you to make new resolutions.
DON’T ONLY CALL YOUR MAMAHealthy, CHECK! Resolution Inventory, CHECK! Now it’s time to help your Mama and them (Dad, siblings, best friend, neighbors, coworkers, pastor, bartender, hairdresser, barber, and basically everyone in your life) out by helping yourself to some professional support. It can be in addition to all those folks I mentioned.
“Everyone needs more support than they are getting.” -Sheryl Sandberg
I’ve seen a therapist before not because I’m crazy, but because I’m human. During our UNderdog journey to become the best we can be a therapist can help us organize our thoughts, fully express our feelings, and understand our past. They can support us staying on the right track or creating a new track. Family and friends are good, but they are not mental health professionals. You wouldn’t take your broke down car to your Mama who isn’t a mechanic, you’d seek professional help. But, when it comes to mental health so many UNderdogs take their issues to their Mama and/or other loved ones instead of seeking professional help. Over 40 million americans have a mental health condition, of those 40 million people 76% of youth and 56% of adults go without treatment.
“The mind is everything. What you think you become.” -Buddha
Please don’t let money be the reason you don’t make this happen. There are so many therapy options available, some that will cost you little to none. You could go to a training clinic, a community mental health clinic, group therapy, or access resources available to you at school or work. Get the help that you want so you can lay a solid foundation for the new resolutions you make or the old ones you choose to continue.
THREE THINGS FIRSTThose are the three things we get to do to set ourselves up for success this year. I am going to go see my doctor, do a resolution inventory, and see a therapist. Let’s rediscover our special stuff in 2018 and go from UNderdogs to champs!
And, as always, I’m going to leave you with my favorite quote: “UNderdogs, can’t nobody do it like you do it. Nobody.” -G.N.